Reflections on “The Success Myth” by Emma Gannon
Following my reflections on “Table for One”, which I posted last July, I am coming back as promised with my reflections on “The Success Myth” by Emma Gannon. “The Success Myth” was an easy read, it sits in the Health & Wellbeing section in bookshops. This book has been so well received that the King of Wellbeing, Alain de Botton founder of the School of Life, wrote a positive statement on the preface of “The Success Myth”: how remarkable!
If you have been interested in and reading literature on wellbeing, psychology, philosophy or meditation, the book might not feel as substantial as what is already sitting on your bookshelves. However, if you haven’t, and if you are like Emma Gannon, and you don’t think that meditation or Yoga is your spiritual thing or perhaps you do not find it practical to join the theory with your everyday lifestyle or mindset, well, this book is for you. Emma Gannon gives down to earth tips but above all, the author explains some of the reasons we are always trying to strive for success.
Emma Gannon explains “‘there is no success formula”. I resonated with the example she gave of Lily Allen who describes in her book ‘My Thoughts Exactly’ (2018) the pressure she had to have successful parents from an industry she was trying to show and desperately prove she could succeed without the help of her parents: “The desire to make it on your own. Nepotism is definitely a route in, but it cannot sustain an entire career by itself. That is a myth.” (Gannon, 2023: 55) Personally, my parents were not famous, popular, yes but not famous, they were and still are talented musicians, unlike my parents, I didn’t want to be a professional musician especially not a professional singer. I wanted to create and do my own things which is exciting but at the same time, lonely because your whole childhood circle does not understand why you are not using your parents’ field, their milieu nor contacts to make it. Indeed, they expect that you would basically tag along so that you can be seen and your work approved. When you work on your creative projects, it does bring some sort of discomfort especially if you don’t end up or aim at being famous. Little understands that being able to make art or to take part in altruistic projects is so rewarding.
For my readers who have been interested in studying, training and working in Health & Wellbeing, Mental Health and/ or Special Needs, Cultural Studies or Anthropology, Emma Gannon discusses the concept of ‘Productivity Dysmorphia’, which is a construed belief imposed by society, the ever ending expectations from managers which make, never ending to do lists which make people feel they are never doing enough and which may they feel they are not good enough for the job and may experience signs of ‘the Impostor Syndrome’.
Emma Gannon also invites her readers to reconsider societal norms which reinforce myths like “Our friends and Family Always Know What’s Best For Us”; “We’re Missing Out Not Joining In”; “We should Have Lost of Friends”; “Success Means Finding a Partner and Sticking With Them Forever”; “We Should All Want to Start a Family” etc… Perhaps, most of the myths have worked for one, perhaps one or a couple didn't for another individual; at the end of the day, everybody is different, right? And maybe, you agree with all or maybe you disagree with none of those myths, and that is fine too.
This is leading beautifully to what Emma Gannon wrote about a concept I was not familiar with: ‘The Magnetism of Contrarian’. In my own words, a Contrarian is an individual who listens to his/ her feelings, follows his/ her gut instincts, does not believe in conforming but in questioning what is given by society, in other words, a Contrarian does not comply blindly. Contrarians remain true to their values, they are not rebels nor Dionysians; quite on the contrary, they value the importance of living well together by respecting the individuals’ rights to choose who they want to authentically be, to live and work safely, to form free thinking and to express independent thinking etc… Perhaps, some of us have become Contrarians because we were cradled by the voices of innovative, visionary and original pioneers, be it through the Suffragettes movement or music like Bob Marley’s Redemption song: “emancipate yourself from mental slavery.” Going back to “The Success Myth”, Emma Gannon defines a Contrarian as follows:
“In the dictionary, a contrarian is defined as a ‘person who opposes or rejects popular opinion.’ It’s a person who, for whatever reason, just goes for it. I particularly like the definition by entrepreneur and investor NAVAL RAVIKANT: “A contrarian isn’t one who always objects- that’s a conformist of a different sort. A contrarian reasons independently, from the ground up, and resists pressure to conform.” (Gannon, 2023: 60- 62)
I appreciate it may not be all the time possible to think, speak and act as a Contrarian because one may have to pay a mortgage, bills, take care of family members and above all, one does not want to recklessly lose their employment and nobody is asking no one to think, speak and act dionysiacally i.e. in a chaotically, disorderly or frenetic fashion. It is after all, nothing but normal that our brain would want to protect us from danger and might be overthinking, that part of the brain, Emma Gannon calls it, “The Lizard Brain.” (Gannon, 2023: 90) I really like how the writer sheds light on this term:
“Our lizard brain wants to protect us, but it often gets things a bit wrong - while our rational mind knows there is not a grizzly bear about to eat us outside the hotel room door, that our lives will not be ruined if we do a public talk on stage, that our best friend probably doesn’t hate us just because she hasn’t replied to our text yet, our lizard brain jumps to those conclusions.” (Gannon, 2023: 90)
To conclude my reflections on “The Success Myth” by Emma Gannon, I would definitely recommend this book if you are not familiar with the concept of “Impermanence” which the writer talks about in the section, “The Happiness Myth”. It is a concept or approach used in therapy to help people realise that emotions come and go. It is only natural and human! However, there is an industry that makes money by selling the myth that one life’s goal is to be permanently happy.
If one is being permanently happy, that may be a sign that one is not being authentically connected with their mind, body and soul- not only it is my business, especially if one is able to function i.e. to be able to get up, to go to work and to have a nurturing personal and social life- but some, but some fake and appear to be “permanently happy”. Once again, that is not my concern but it is concerning when they make others feel bad when they express their feelings relating to a difficult situation in their life.
The “permanently happy” co- speaker might not only judge the “I am not feeling great right now” speaker, the former might shut down the latter by labelling the latter’s way of thinking, speaking and acting as bad or as a bad human, even warning them that the Universe always listens to what they are thinking and the “I am not feeling great right now” speaker might be attracting negative consequences because of their negative thinking- while in reality all the “I am not feeling great right now” speaker just needed an empathetic ear. Emma Gannon mentions Dr Euba on the concept of “permanent happiness”, here is an extract:
“Dr Euba argues that the idea of permanent happiness is a construct invented by the ‘positive thinking’ industry: ‘there are moments of fleeting joy that are not meant to be constant.” (Gannon, 2023: 85)
As a Practitioner, I can attest to what Dr Euba describes. It is also a fact that it is not easy to balance work and our personal life; that’s why it is so crucial that we let our soul, mind and body the opportunity to recognise and express tensions, otherwise the latter live and build up in our cells blocking the ‘prana’, the life source energy dysregulating our homeostasis programmed to balance our inner and outer worlds.
Hence, we need to listen to our body, acknowledge how we feel, only then, may we be encouraged to do something fun but meaningful for it is one way that makes my soul happy. How do I know my soul is happy? I could say when you know, you know… Come closer, it is a secret between you and I, because it is something that my clients told me many many many times, when you feel down, really down, and it takes motivation to get up and do something fun but meaningful, it could be just the thought of it or it could be at the end of that particular activity, and you or people notice that you can’t stop beaming! Just like me writing to you right now, from writing the title to writing the last sentence of this paper, I can’t stop smiling and that makes my soul happy.
I hope you enjoyed this reading, please do not hesitate, to like and share my reflections with your friends and family!
Stay safe, stay active, stay healthy!
With Loving Kindness, Peace & Harmony!
AWA!
Trauma- Informed Educator
Movement & Theatre Practitioner
Founder of The Ojas Centre
Comments